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Tuesday, July 27, 2021


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Kirubai Brian
Learning, unlearning, relearning bkirubai@jujamaica.com

“You really need to stop with the cold drinks,” my wife says handing me a warm cup of coffee for my cold. I had lied to her, a necessary evil. Her eyes sized me as she moved round the bed to sit next to me, her behind always a site to behold. Not the reason why I married her though. My attention reluctantly shifts to her face as I engage her on how her day was. Six years in the game and one begins to get bored; you memorize what to say, what buttons to push and as each day comes and goes the script numbs.

Then I met Jennifer. She hated it when I called her Jenny but I liked messing with her. Her charisma could not only light a room, it could warm it. Warmth that made you feel human when she graced you with her attention and boy was it expensive. She basically oozed confidence. Working a case for a mutual client, our meetings evolved from the office to outside office hours. Soon it became harder to distinguish between work meetings and meeting because we liked each other’s company. With every successful date came the promise of one last one.

Suddenly “work” got interesting. I “worked” overtime and sometimes even during weekends. Time sped up each time we were together. I loved the fact that she was an open book, not easy to read but full of lessons to teach. Her political consciousness made her one of the few who still had hope for our country while also remaining wary of the dangers of hope.  Her disgust for anime made my disgust more meaningful. Her broadness swallowed me whole and like a cat I was willing to peruse all her pages, word by word and absorb it all. Here I was a married man in love but sadly not with my wife.

My son just walked in interrupting my chain of thoughts. His ears are as big as mine, the kind you can’t help but notice. I hope that one day he will make things right where I failed to. That he will not be a weak man and sacrifice his happiness for others. Most of all I hope he understands the choices I made and not view me differently for them. That’s all I can do; hope but also be aware of its dangers.

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